Have Reasonable Expectations from Your Children

Every parent has expectations of their children. These expectations are formed unconsciously from our own wants and desires. They are important. Expectations form the foundation for many things in our lives.

The key is to have positive and reasonable expectations for your children. How do you establish a set of positive child discipline expectations? How do you know if your child discipline expectation is even reasonable? These aren't easy questions to answer.

To come to any reasonable conclusion about the reasonableness of your expectations you will have to do some research – inside and outside. Outside, compare your expectations with others; don’t compare your children with other’s children. Look into what the established child behavior guidelines are for your child's age. If a child at one is not expected to construct a full sentence, don’t expect it from your child.

These books will also help you look at your child more objectively. It means that you will look at the child and his capacity without bringing your own desires and aspirations into it. For instance, if the established guideline is that children don't develop full sentence speech till they are at least a year old, expecting a full sentence out of your six-month old isn't a reasonable expectation.

If you know your child is doing his or her best in school, and they are an average student, expecting average grade work is reasonable because they are doing their best and you know it's their best. Child behavior expectations take a bit of common sense. And it is important to establish reasonable expectations of your children.

Having unreasonable expectations of your children leads you to disappointment and your children to feeling like they can't measure up. Neither of these situations is positive and should be avoided since they tend to lead to child behavioral problems.

It is equally important to convey your reasonable expectation in child behavior to your child. You can formulate a set of goals in different areas of child discipline, and hold to them. Make sure to reward your children for meeting those expectations and encourage them to reach more, once they've reached one.

Often times, having had the success of reaching and meeting the first expectation, your children will be able to meet that higher expectation. The biggest thing to remember is to not push your desires onto your children. If you were never good in sports but you wanted to be the star athlete of your school, to make that dream come true, don’t push your child to be a superstar against his or her will. Also, don't force your child into athletics just because he or she is good at it. That's placing your expectations from your past onto your children. That only creates a negative environment, child behavior problems and child discipline issues. Reasonable expectations promote growth and positive self image and are an essential parenting skill.

Visit visit http://www.good-child-guide for some effective and valuable advice on child behaviour problems.

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Dr. Noel Swanson has a free newsletter on children's behavior problems and is a leading contributor to Yes Parenting website.
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