Help! My Child Has Been Kicked Out of School!

The British have increased their media and news coverage regarding misbehaving children in school in recent days. The topic usually ends with a solution that centers around removing troublemakers from the traditional classroom setting.

However, the discussion involved a new, unique solution. The new solution is that idea that parents should stay home and monitor their children once the kids have been removed from school for their bad behavior.

This doesn't make any sense and is a nuisance to parents. The discussion also describes letting special schools stay open or even building new special schools for these children.

After all, if the child is not getting on well in mainstream (which, since they have just been excluded, is clearly the case), then surely the answer has to be to find a type of educational environment in which the DO get on well?

This leads you to wonder what you can do as a parent if your child has been sent home from school for misbehaving. I have thought about this in detail after dealing with the very same issues with my oldest child.

1. You are not a bad parent because of this. Don't waste time feeling sorry for yourself. Maybe your parenting skills could use some improvement, but that is the true for just about everyone. Try to be a better parent by actively searching for information through books and materials on raising kids.

2. DO NOT sit around blaming the school. Even if they are useless, the most likely reason is their own lack of resources (blame the education aurthority, blame the government, blame the voters). The teachers may not be able to help your child, but that reflects a lack of training and lack of time, not a lack of concern.

3. Seek out assistance from the local education authority (LEA). They should be able to provide an alternative learning situation for your child. You need to be persistent when you contact them, but avoid being rude. You can ask your politicians and newspapers to help you get the ball rolling if you need to.

4. Understand that your child may need to move to an alternative classroom setting. Be ready for these changes. It is a good idea to understand that your child needs this help and to nip it in the bud now. It will be much worse later if you avoid dealing with your child's bad behaviors.

5. Seek out help to see if your child may have a learning disability, ADHD or Asperger's syndrome. These can cause disruptions in the classroom. There is an enviroment in which children who suffer from these conditions can thrive. It is a matter of finding that environment.

6. Don't ignore or gloss over your child's behavior or kid yourself into thinking that they are a model student. You may feel like defending your child and think that everyone is incorrect about his behavior. It is more productive to acknowledge that there might be a problem and work with help from the LEA to resolve the issue.

Those are just some of the issues you may have to deal with, so be prepared for them.

The previous tips should be of some assistance to any parent struggling with a child's behavior. Plus, if you work in the education field please refrain from pointing to kicking the child out of the classroom as the only solution. That would not be a solution and wouldn't be of benefit to anyone.

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Dr. Noel Swanson runs a very interesting website on parenting", so if you could do with some tips for dealing with your children it might be worth a visit.
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