How to Avoid the Toddler Teffible Two's

2 year olds. Don't you just love 'em? Especially when they are rolling around the floor having a good old tantrum. So, are there any tips for making the terrible twos a little less terrible?

First of all, don't be fooled by them! Just because they are little, just because they don't talk well, and haven't been around too long, doesn't meant they don't know exactly how to manipulate you to get what they want! Just like anyone else, whatever the age, they will do their best to get the things that they want. And if throwing a temper tantrum or whining, or any other such behavior works to get you to see things their way, then of course they will do it!

So, how do you deal with them? By using exactly the same principles as you would with an older child:

A. First of all, be very clear in your mind about what is acceptable to you and what is not. Be firm on important points and give in on matters that are not significant.

B. Be clear about your instructions - say what you mean, and mean what you say. Say it once and don't repeat yourself.

C. However, make sure you do as you have said.

D. I don’t mean that you have to punish them but you can use the ‘manners chair’ technique to give an idea what punishment is like. Here is how it works:

Buy a small child's chair and put it in a corner in the room. Whenever your child disobeys your clear instructions purposefully, send him/her to sit in the chair. Use the same words every time you send the child to the chair, so that the chair becomes a reformatory of sorts. For instance, you can say, ‘You seem to have lost your good manners again. You had better go and sit in the chair until you find them again.’

After some time when the child has ‘found his manners’, allow him to come off the chair. Till then, simply ignore him, especially if he is fussing or whining. Make sure you explain what he has done wrong so that he knows what to correct.

Some children are very sensitive. So, instead of making it sound like a punishment, you can make it light and playful by offering to help your child to find his manners again. Look under the chair, or in his pockets, or even in the shoes. This is a smart way of taking their attention away from whining to a more positive attitude. This also saves you the need to shout and be heard. Most children find the manners quite quickly.

Once the manners have been found, you can start from what the child was originally supposed to do, or perhaps apologize for the bad behavior.

If he reverts to bad behavior again, then it is important to let him revisit the incident. And, if he still refuses to apologize, then it’s clear he didn't find his manners, and needs to go back to the manners chair and have another look.

You will need to maintain a fine balance between fun and serious correction of behavior. Don’t let it become too much of a game by giving a lot of attention to find their manners. Watch your child intently and act accordingly. If it is getting serious, bring in the fun; if it’s becoming funny, drive home the purpose of the manners chair.

This helps you remain calm and have a positive attitude. Let your child know you love him but you will not tolerate bad manners. Also, don’t rub it in; tell him you think it was a mistake, and will be corrected. There should be no permanent scars of it.

One of the most difficult situations parents face is when your child misbehaves in public. Here too, follow the same rule as everywhere else: say what you mean, and follow up with action.

You can use one of these three options in public: 1. Take your child in a corner and do a kind of "manners chair" by saying that all activity will be suspended until he has found his manners.

2. Take him out and do the ‘manners chair’ in the car. You can stay out and look away while he tries to find his manners. Don’t shout and scream and don’t lose patience. Above all, don’t get into a discussion till the manners have been found.

3. Abandon the shopping trip and go home and do the time out there.

Let me assure you that you will not have to do this many times. If you mean business, they will not disobey you. But, if you are not clear, they will go on trying to see how far they can go. For further information read my book. Here is the link:

You will find all this and much more in my book. Here is the link – you can get started today.

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