Kids who Steal - What Can You Du About It?

There are a lot of reasons kids steal. Some kids steal for comfort, to impress a group of friends, get retaliate against their parents, or sometimes to simply get the things they want.

So how do you stop it? Obviously, if you can help them to find another way to meet their needs, then they won't have to continue with the stealing.

Repeat offenders do so for one simple reason: because it works. Regardless of their motivation: attention, money, or excitement, the stealing fulfils their needs.

Of course it's imperative that you set a good example. Turning in a lost wallet or giving back too much change when you receive it. Doing these things won't be lost on your children.

Your primary emphasis is on promoting honesty. You can use everyday events, such as stories from television or school, to begin to instill the values of honesty, integrity, and family morals.

At the same time, you need to model the behavior yourself. Are you conscientious about returning change when you are given too much in a store, what do you do when you find a wallet or money in the street? Your children learn by watching you.

Next talk to your child about righting the wrong. This goes beyond returning the stolen item. It includes paying for the disruption and disrespect that he or she also committed. The best way is to have the child take care of the wrongdoing with you supplying lots of support. These are some examples:

If you happen to catch your child stealing, stay calm. Losing your temper, yelling or screaming will not help, and may even be perceived as an attention reward for them. Secondly, do not allow them to lie to excuse their behavior.

If your child stole something from a stranger, take it away and consider contacting the police. Also fine your child yourself.

In the event that he spent the money or sold the item to get money, require him to sell something of his own. You can even buy it from him but make sure that he knows the item is gone forever.

If taken from a stranger, remove the items (perhaps hand them in at the police station) and impose a fine or loss of privileges.

If the item is no longer in the child's possession and the money has been spent, ask the child to sell some of their own favorite items (even to you) to pay for them and the fine. Make sure what is sold is gone for good.

Another option that has an effect is to arrange for some "community service" for the theft victim or, if you don't know their identity, for the family or neighbors.

Finally, once it is over, get over it. Get back into reward mode, look for the things your child is doing right, not wrong, and work hard at reinforcing honesty. It is the stealing that is the enemy, not your child.

Sometimes the temptation is to impose a long grounding sentence. Remember, jail does not reform hardened criminals, so expecting a different result with your own child is not realistic.

Dr. Noel Swanson, Consultant Child Psychiatrist and author of The GOOD CHILD Guide, specializes in children's behavioural difficulties and writes a free newsletter for parents. He can be contacted through his website: www.good-child-guide.com. This article is copyright. You are encouraged, however, to freely copy it provided this signature block is included without modification (other than the addition of your own affiliate link)

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Every parent should really read Dr. Noel Swanson's parenting book, The GOOD CHILD Guide. You can get it here: www.good-child-guide.com/articles.html">Parenting Book. He also does a free newsletter which is well worth reading. www.good-child-guide.com
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